Starbucks 101

starbucks may be awesome. but come to think of it, its missing alot of IMPORTANT features. i mean seriously. how can we survive without these?

1: INTER-STARBUCKS MATTER TRANSPORTATION/TELEPORTATION SYSTEM

Okay. Self-explanatory. the ad will be something like this: "Don't you wish you could be at the starbucks at novena right now? Are all the soft comfy couches taken? NO PROBLEM! just input your favourite starbucks outlet, and fire away! Thomson Plaza to Changi Airport in NO TIME AT ALL!"

2: ANTI-BEANER DETECTION SYSTEM

Definitely a must-have. No starbucks outlet is complete without one. we can't have any beaners sneaking around. this state-of-the-art-system will detect and differentiate those looking to repent versus spies on the sanctum of the wavy hair.

3: PROFILE DETECTION/'FAVOURITE DRINK' SYSTEM

the most convienient one so far. as soon as you step in, the outlet will scan and detect your most ordered (favourite) drink, the drink that matches your personality the most, and a java chip. Imagine stepping into any starbucks, ANY starbucks in THE WORLD, and have the barista greet you: "hi Good morning, Mr/Mrs. [Name Here], will you be having the usual?"

4: MEMBERSHIP AND POINT SYSTEM

Perhaps the most implementable one so far. Starbucks should give out CARDS! Member cards! imagine a cool little plastic thing, then your picture! and then your name. its like:

BEZNER LIM
Starbucks™ Ambassador
Triple Shot
Two Pumps Vanilla, Three Pumps Hazelnut
Caramel Drizzle, Venti Iced Latte

SO AWESOME. like:

NAME
RANK
DRINK

WEAR IT PROUDLY!

5: LIVE BANDS!!!!!!!!

No Explanation Necessary! freaking AWESOME. well, live bands at SELECT outlets. sometimes you just want a quiet coffee time alone. well, thats what the INTER STARBUCKS MATTER TRANSPORTATION SYSTEM IS FOR!!





So. Starbucks boss guys! IMPLEMENTATION!!!!! oh and yes. i do realise this will prolly make my venti iced vanilla latte cost like $50.00 but hey, its worth it right?

Quote of the Week: "He WILL have the java chip."
EDIT: WATCH ME CHEAT TIME!!!!!!

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