Pure Genius.

My mum is the ultimate persuader. She guilted me into following her to gym today.. uh yesterday. it was harsh.

it was at planet fitness, i thought; pah, its just two hours. how hard can it be?

i was so wrong. the first course/lesson thing was what they called Combat Yoga. its basically Yoga, but a bit more fast paced, with some kick boxing elements added in. like: [quote instructor]

Let me see your cobra, okay, swing your left leg forward, warrior stance, and.. guard. okay ready. right leg forward, do this: (demonstrates) right jab, cross, jab, round house. good. repeat.. 4 more counts. 2 more to go, one last one, and.. warrior.

etcetc. it was harsh enough. holding yourself in said stances are amazingly difficult. for example, let me show you an illustration of the different poses we had to hold. try them. then you'll understand.

This is the Bow Pose. basically, you lie flat, pull your legs up, then grab it with your hands. then you lift up your chest and your knees, while trying to hold your thighs together. good luck. this is a hard one.


This is the Warrior Pose. looks easy? try it. whichever leg is behind you, its heel may not touch the ground. it may be easy at first, but we had to hold it for a loong time. try it. no cheating, hold your arms straight over your head, close to your ears.


this is the Triangle Pose. i don't know why they call it the triangle pose. it doesnt even look like a triangle. anyway, you get here form your warrior pose. basically, your hands come forward (thats a relief) then you touch the floor/ankle/shin, depending on whether you have hamstrings, then turn to a side, bringing one hand up straight above your head. yup. hold your hand there again.


ah. the half moon. this is not easy at all. from your triangle, while holding your arm in the air, twiddle forward. (yes, twiddle. i dont know what that means, it just sounds right.) twiddle forward until your floor arm is in front of you. for normal people who have hamstrings, you can bend your leg. then, slowly lift up your back leg such that you are balancing on a foot and a hand. hold it there for 10 more counts.

Alas, now that you're done, do the whole thing all over again, but for the other side. i.e right instead of left.



so had enough of combat yoga yet? okay. on to boot camp. yes, thats what the class is called. its called boot camp, and it is nothing like a boot camp. (boot camps are easier.)

The class starts out with you marching on the spot, and to emphasize how difficult the program is, i will include a log of what the instructor says, along with my thoughts.

ready? go.

(Club mix song is heard with a steady beat)
Over-Enthusiastic Instructor (OEI): "Okay hello everyone, welcome to boot camp. lets go, march, on the spot. go!"


I begin to march, arms stiffly by my side, to the beat of the song

OEI: "eh c'mon lah. swing your arms enthu abit leh, this is not the army!"

I continue to march, arms still by my side, limp.

OEI:(to class)" okay ready step touch, go!"

Me(Thinking):"whats a step touch?"

everyone else is a regular, so they start step touching.

Me: ah, there you go, step touches. (step touches are wear you step your right leg to the right, touch it with your left foot, bring your left leg to the left, touch with your right foot, repeat.)

OEI: (in time with the song) "aaand march.. (time lapse) aand step touch. (time lapse) aaaand... march on the spot, ready, steps,"

at this point we step up and down a "step" that we previously placed infront of us. its like an artificial staircase step, so we can do step ups.

OEI starts counting, i.e: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 step, 1,2,3, march 5,6,7, step... etc. alternating between stepping, marching, and step touching.

at this point, OEI's enthusiasm has caught on to me and i think. hey, boot camp isnt so tough, look i can do what you can do!!! and i start smiling and stepping and bouncing to the beat. i continue to think: see? good music makes anything bearable. then i think hey, boot camp is fun!

i almost continue to think of more ways to emphasize how fun boot camp is, but i am interrupted by the OEI.

OEI: okay everyone ready, and left leg on the step, and single squats go!

at this point, we all put one leg on our raised steps, and do squats

8 squats later, i think wow. that was intersting, whats next? and i begin to get off the step,

OEI: bottom half!

everyone stays on the steps and does half squats. no, half squats are not easier. bottom half means this: okay. uh. let me teach you how to do it. its easier that way.find a slightly raised surface, put one leg on it, do a squat, but not all the way down. just half way down, choosing a point whereby it is moth uncomfortable and unnatural to stay in. this is your go-to point. from here, do squats, but don't go back to the fully standing position, only half squat from your go-to point, down, go-to point, down. etc.

i join in. and i realise: JESUS CHRIST THIS IS HARD.

after 8 counts (btw, for the half squats, and essentially all half manouvers, each count is twice as long and we spend more time in our go-to point.)

OEI: "single squats! carry on, 2nd set!"

back to single squats

ME(thinking): WHY ARENT WE DONE YET?

8 counts later

OEI: BOTTOM HALF!

8 counts later

OEI: 2 more sets, and SINGLE SQUAT!

8 counts later

OEI: BOTTOM HALF!

8 counts later

OEI: Last set, and SINGLE SQUAT!

8 counts later

OEI: BOTTOM HALF!!!1!

8 counts later

ME: (thinking) FINALLY

OEI: Right heel off the ground, aaaand, SQUAT!

here, we do this really painful thing, where we do standard squats ( with the exception of the left leg on the raised platform) but standing on the tips of your toes on your right foot. this really hurts. try following this.

8 counts later

OEI: BOTTOM HALF

(yes, we do the half squat for this too. keep that heel in the air.)

8 counts later

OEI: 3 more sets, and SINGLE SQUATS!! keep that heel in the air, do not break your momentum! Just imagine you wearing high heels! for the guys can only imagine lah, unless you got wear before, lol

8 counts later

OEI: BOTTOM HALF

8 counts later

OEI: 2 more sets, and SINGLE SQUAT!

8 counts later

OEI: BOTTOM HALF!

8 counts later

OEI: Last set, and SINGLE SQUAT!

8 counts later

OEI: BOTTOM HALF!!!1!

8 counts later

ME: OHMYGODWHYDIDITAKETHECLASSMYCALFISBURNINGHALPMEPLZOMGWHY

OEI: Aaaand, hold that squat (stay in go-to point)

OEI: okay, alternate heels!

this is where we hold that half squat, and alternate which heel goes up or down.

OEI: Aaand, right leg on the step!

here we repeat the whole thing, right down to the alternate heel part, all for the other leg. so, following me so far?

(timelapse)

OEI: okay! BOTH HEELS UP!

ME: dies.

OEI: and SQUAT

yes. we do 4 sets of squats and half squats for that too.

timelapse

my god, i'm bored. are you bored? did you try it? if you did, you prolly can't read this. prolly lying on the floor somewhere. any way, after that, we did some arm muscle thing involving resistance belts, which also involved 4 sets of singles and halfs times 5 multiplied by both sides plus extra and another type which i can't remember because i think i was half conscious.

but dinner was worth it.

oh god i can still taste the pasta. but that, thats another story. come back tomorrow, i'll tell you about the pasta.

Where do we go now?

Here, check this out: patient, it takes a while to load.,



There you have it. Classic awesomeness personified.

SWEET CHILD OF MINE
Guns N' Roses

WHAT IS IT:

Sweet Child is a song. It is a great song. To be precise, "Sweet Child o' Mine" is a song by the rock band Guns N' Roses. It was released on their debut album, "Appetite for Destruction" on 21st Jul, 1987. "Sweet Child o' Mine" was Guns N' Roses' first number-one single on the Billboard Hot 100, spending two weeks at the top spot in September 1988.

WHY ITS GREAT:

Well, first off, its great because it was an accident. The band's guitarist, slash, was just messing around, doing 'string skipping exercises'. when the rythm guitarist, Izzy, improvised some chords, and their Vox, Axl, sang out a poem he had written. I quote from one of their interviews (speaking is Duff McKagan, their Bassist):

The thing about 'Sweet Child,' it was written in five minutes. It was one of those songs, only three chords. You know that guitar lick Slash does at the beginning? It was kinda like a joke because we thought, 'What is this song? It's gonna be nothin', it'll be filler on the record.' And except that vocal-wise, it's very sweet and sincere, Slash was fuckin' around when he first wrote that lick.

So there you have it. they accidentally made a hit. the intro lick is THE most memorable lick of anyone who lived in the era. as soon as you hear that lick, you feel this warm fuzziness inside and you think: "alright! Sweet child, i know this song! This band rocks!" the guitars are awesome, and the vocal skills are amazing. the lyrics to the song are great. I'm not sure what it means, but Wikipedia tells me its about his girlfriend, and eventual wife. there are so much more, but for those non-oldie fanatics, im sure you're bored, so i leave this section with a final note. this song got #37 for the top 100 Greatest Guitar Solos.


WHY IT SUCKS:

i hate this section when i review stuff i like. pah. anyway, i guess the vocal skills are hard for some to appreciate. to most, it may sound whiney. but that was the style of the era, and this is one of the best. also, the song doesn't make much sense in the end. the "where do we go now" part seems out of place, and is only good because time has made it so. also, the most commonly heard version of the song is shortened. As Axl Rose said in an interview:

I hate the edit of 'Sweet Child o' Mine.' Radio stations said, "Well, your vocals aren't cut." "My favorite part of the song is Slash's slow solo; it's the heaviest part for me. There's no reason for it to be missing except to create more space for commercials, so the radio-station owners can get more advertising dollars. When you get the chopped version of 'Paradise City' or half of 'Sweet Child' and 'Patience' cut, you're getting screwed

so yeah. most people dont know the full song, and that really sucks. cuz, you're getting screwed. on a light hearted note. i hate the solo. ITS FREAKING DIFFICULT TO SELF TEACH. but pah. all good solos are like that.


MY RATING:

I'd give it 4.5 stars out of five, but i don't have that .gif, so there you have it. 4 out of 5.


SHOULD I, AND WHERE CAN I GET IT:

I merged these two sections because i have the same answer for them. I have no idea. you definitely SHOULD get it, but i don't know where you can. its really rare. i ripped mine from my dad's CD collection, back in the states. i don't know where you can get it here in singapore. try e-bay? lol.

Carlos Santana Goodness

I have a song for you here, wait for it to load. it takes awhile.



This is Awesome.

Into The Night
Carlos Santana featuring Chad Kroeger from Nickelback

WHAT IS IT:

Into the night is a song. A song is an arrangement of musical notes played together, sometimes with accompanied by singing. Into the night is a song by Carlos Santana (Maria Maria; Just Feel Better), with Chad Kroeger (How You Remind Me; Rockstar). Into the Night is about... well, i don't know what its about, but the music video features a man about to jump off a roof when he sees a girl dancing. He falls for her immediately (yeah right) and starts to follow her like the creep he is. Eventually he follows her to a club where he watches her dance, and at the end they dance together. Meanwhile, on a completely unrelated topic, Kroeger and Santana play on the roof of a building. This song is the lead single for Santana's latest album, Ultimate Santana.



WHY ITS GREAT:

Santana plays another awesome solo. No questions asked, its great. Fits perfectly with the song, and the awesome melody, that goes great with Chad's trademark growl. Santana's playing style is strongly latin, and the fast-paced bongo thing fits perfectly with that. There is this awesome breakdown when santana's solo comes in, with the awesome wah-wahing. The whole song in general is the kind of song that stays in your head. (sing: Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay..)


WHY IT SUCKS:

It doesnt really have a climax point. Santana's solo is kick ass, but doesnt quite stand out. its kind of like alot of the same thing. this makes it seem like it goes by really quickly, and it doesnt make much of an impact. The song is probably best only for background music for a late-night party or something. Another thing. Does radio really need more Chad Kroeger? The song sounds like any Nickelback song you care to mention. Quote:

Into The Night will only sound fresh to those who have spent the past 6 years in a cave.

SHOULD YOU GET IT?

Yes. so maybe its not his best track, but since Ultimate Santana combines hits from his recent albums, as well as classics from his band at its prime, a compilation of the guitar master’s best work is a must for any pop fan without Santana's previous work in their collection. Even if you don't like the song, the other tracks in the album im sure you'll love, that is.. if you appreciate good guitar skills.



MY RATING:

When Carlos Santana originally hooked up with Nickelback's Chad Kroeger for 2002’s “Why Don’t You & I,” Kroeger’s voice was relatively new to radio, and Santana playing back up for superstar singers still seemed like a somewhat fresh concept. A dozen Nickelback hits and two similar Santana sets later, the new single “Into The Night” seems to be chock full worn out ideas, but a whole bunch of worn-out ideas can come together beautifully. This is a track that will linger in your playlist for a month or two.


SO WHERE CAN I GET IT?

I got mine from the states, so i don't know where you can get it here, but I'm sure CD stores like CD-Rama and Sembawang will have it. Its quite a big album for santana. again, as a last resort, im sure you can use e-bay.





and there you have it, Into The Night by Carlos Santana, Featuring Chad Kroeger from Nickelback. come back soon, i'm going to review Sweet Child of Mine, By Guns and Roses, a popular oldie.

Want some jam? We made it ourselves.

It was a good day at Tiet yesterday. we managed to completely learn one song and perform it. Here. this is the final copy. How You Remind Me, as made popular by: Nickelback. by this point, our vox has already mutilated his voicebox, so the quality is sub par. nah actually i think the whole song needs some work. but hey. its a good start eh? eh?





Its not on autoplay, so oyu have to hit play yourself. listen to it. its good.

anyway, tomorrow im gonna review Into The Night, by Santana feat. Chad Kroeger.


EDIT: lol, i was just asking our VOX about his singing, check this out.

AfroToast - Nothing is True; Everything is Permitted says:
why do you sound like you have a blocked nose?

Tf says:
im using a constipated approach to this song

Tf says:
so

Tf says:
after time

Tf says:
when i have lesser strenght

Tf says:
i get lesser constipation to make it nice

AfroToast - Nothing is True; Everything is Permitted says:
okaay.

Tf says:
so it sound blocked

AfroToast - Nothing is True; Everything is Permitted says:
im definitely going to quote that.

Tf says:
wtf no!

Control

Its been a loong time since i last came online, as usual. first, apologies to doreen, you have... 4 different rants shouting at me to come online, but hey, your camera worked in the end didn't it? anyway, my lateness is not without reason. i bestow upon my readers, the first page of our comic, "Control". Story by me, art by uh.. i'm not sure if he wants me to put his name up, if he okays it, i'll edit it in.


so yeah. thats the comic's first page. im looking for a webhost to host it, plan to update that regularly, and hope to publish a full fledged comic book somewhere along the way. consider this a market test. we got 5 pages down, but this is prolly the only one you'll see on my blog. the rest will be on the main website, which i have yet to start up. so yeah. i'd like to release my story plan, but you guys just gotta wait and see. i think some people out there already know what i want to do with these characters.


hm
anyway, looking forward to tiet studios tomorrow. bringing my laptop, maybe upload some sound files. and i think i'm gonna try and review a song. perhaps an oldie, maybe not. i'll think about tomorrow.

Ass Ass in Screed

Wow. it's been a long time since i last updated. but i've been away, and there has been assassin's creed, and halo3, and kane and lynch, and mass effect, and orange box. im sure you understand? heh.

anyway.today was a good day. we went to tiet studios. i believe we done good. as usual, at the last hour, we came up with somehting good. now all we need to do is get yiming fired from his job so he can come jam with us. we need lyrics NOW.


Long came up with the chords first, them sam got a bass, the drums... then i came in with something,

---------
---------
-----0---
---------
---2-----
-0-------

and something like that. it was a Em, C, Gsus7, and a Am, which i overdubbed with my D. so yeah. as soon as we get the finished product, we'll put it up on our website at garageband.com. google it. go see our website.

its got its built in fanbase system, so you know, hinthint. we're The Farewell Front Drive, so thats what you should search for.

Anyway, back to Assassin's Creed. Its got the greatest story ever, and im at its climax, so. till the next post.

Lets go Back.

I know its late, but im still gonna review it as if it just came in.











It finally came.




there were no words.
































there was only bliss.

HALO 3 LEGENDARY EDITION

It finally came in from the U.S halo 3 legendary edition. the pack comes with two halo 3 essentials DvDs and a Cat head sized Master Chief helmet. and not omitting, HALO 3.


WHAT IS IT:

Halo 3 is a video game. It is a video game for the Xbox 360. that means it is a CD, that i put into my Xbox 360 console, which is hooked up to my TV and surround sound system, to experience nirvana. Halo 3 is also a monument to all our bungie. yesm. geekisms aside, halo 3 is THE game to get for this year and many years to come. it promises rich multiplayer and single player experiences which will last until the next xbox console is released.

WHY ITS GREAT:

Its Halo3. thats why. see. firstly, games are expensive. and games that dont give you the world for your moneys suck. thats why halo3 is the best game ever. it gives you a universe. this game gives you a awesome single player experience. and a multiplayer experience that will last you years. paying for this game is no issue.

Next, this is the ultimate conclusion to the halo series. if you've played halo 1, and 2, you must get halo 3. how can you not, after that infamous cliffhanger at the end of halo 2: "Sir, Finishing this fight." halo 3 gives a satisfying storyline that simultaneously provides closure whilst adding twists and turns, making you wonder what will happen next.

Thirdly, the gameplay is outstanding. i qoute from gamespot:

Halo 3 is an interesting mix of established protocol and intriguing new stuff. For example, the gameplay doesn't stray too far from Halo 2, which, in turn, didn't exactly reinvent the original Halo.

Halo 3 plays great. it comes up with situations where sometimes you just run and gun, "Rambo" mode as we call it. but it has a heavy tactical overtone, which urges you to make some light tactical decisions, like. should i just charge up there? or will it save time and ammo to sneak in and take them out one by one? should i lob a grenade in there? or should i save it for later and take them out with my gun? The balance between your guns, your grenades, and your melee attack has always given Halo a unique feel in the genre, and those same considerations apply today, both in the campaign mode and in multiplayer. there are loads of new weapons and grenades and equipment that will change the way you approach a battle. You'll even find weapons so huge that your movement speed slows when you carry them. When you use these weapons, the camera pulls out to a third-person perspective so you can see your missile pod, plasma cannon, or flamethrower as it fires.

The concept of "equipment" is new to the series. These deployable special items have a variety of effects. im sure you all know the Bubble Shield, from the trailers?


thats the one. this lets players walk through, but grenades and bullets cannot penetrate it. You'll also find items that make your shields regenerate more quickly, and others that drain enemy shields and stop their vehicles dead in their tracks. this makes the gameplay more interesting and gives you more ways to defeat your enemy, or be defeated.

Lastly, bungie has giveth us two new tools. Forge and Theater.

The first lets you edit objects on a map. You can't edit level geometry with Forge, but you can spawn, remove, and move objects and items around the level. All of the editing is done in real time, and you can pop in and out of edit mode by pushing up on the D pad. You can also play this mode with other players, letting everyone run around in edit mode to spawn Warthogs, rocket launchers, and whatever else is already on the map. On the surface, that doesn't sound so exciting. But in practice, it's a weird and potential-rich addition to the game because there are a ton of little secrets and tricks you can use to manipulate the objects in ways Bungie may not have intended.

Theatre is the ultimate asshole tool. lets say you just finish a game, you and your mates are waiting to return to the lobby, and you say ' aw man, did you see that last kill? that was so awesome! i used the gun with the thing and the thing hit the other thing and blah blah blah. your friends are already sore that you won, but why not treat them to watching you own them again? in s l o w m o t i o n. see, it used to be: "dude i just killed you with a head shot from across the map!" now its "dude i just killed you with a head shot from across the map, now lets see it again in slow motion!" how awesome is that?!

WHY IT SUCKS:

i can't believe i have to do this portion. okay well first off, the AIs can't drive for shit. in campaign mode, NEVER, EVER let your marines drive you around. they will drive you into the wall, or off the next cliff. NEVER LET THEM DRIVE. other than that, i have no complaints.

oh but theres stilll the inevitable flood of pre pubescent kids on xboxlive who will scream into your ears with a shrill voice so high pitched and laden with vulgarities that your brains will melt and your eyeballs explode. squeakers, we call them.

SHOULD YOU GET IT?

HAVE YOU NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? YES! GET IT! if you have an xbox 360 that is. even if you dont, its worth getting one just for this game. if you can afford it, that is. prepare about 1000 moneys. that right. harsh huh?

MY RATING:

Halo 3 builds upon the concepts of Halo 2 in ways that you'd expect, but there are also new modes and options that send the series in exciting new directions. I am definitely NOT biased.

SO WHERE CAN YOU GET IT?

Any video game store should have this. if they dont, they're either out of stock or they suck. if you live in the AMK Hub area, I recommend Funzcentre.com on the second floor of AMK Hub. friendly staff. dont expect to find a used copy of halo 3, only retarded people sell their halo 3. smilesmile.

not good.

worst two days i remember.

first day was the last day of the chalet. don't get me wrong the chalet was great. but i made a stupid decision to go prom shopping with long and kenji. supposed to go swee lee for long's guitar, but ended up going from yio chu kang, to vivo, to getting lost in orchard and i can't remember what else. as soon as i left my house i knew something was wrong. yet so subtle, i just ignored it. then at vivo, it kinda worsened. a weird sense of disorientation, and at orchard, i was in some delirious state, couldnt focus on anything, cold sweat, my legs were practically caving in. then my mother called. by some immense stroke of luck, she was at shaw centre. my saviour. lol. anyway. i did my last dash from taka to shaw, which felt like a marathon. got into the car, and i KOed all the way home. i got home. took the hottest shower i can remember, then collapsed on the bed and slept from who knows what time in the afternoon to 9. at least 5 hours i think. dunno. woke up, tried to eat dinner, then went back to sleep.

middle of the night was probably the scariest. througout the day i kept worrying that i had some lethal fever that could fry my brain and cause a stroke, partly cuz i've seen it happen, and partly cuz i think some fevers heighten the production of some chemical that makes you worry. anyway. middle of the night i remember vaguely waking up and just shaking. my legs twitched a little and i started shivering. so. that scared the hell out of me. i tried to stop the twitching and i eventually fell back to sleep. thank fully, waking up this morning, i felt better. the headache and muscle aches were still there, and the disorientation was also kinda persistent, but it slowly ebbed out over the day.

and then just now, some steamboat buffet affair. i took like i dunno. 10 helpings of seaweed with the soup.

shit. real smart. no need to tell you what happened, just know that today wasn't the best. oh, and di i mention i almost lost my account? stupid remember me feature. so tempting. sigh. sorry about the halo 3 review not being here. the prom stuff, the chalet, the bsod, the weird sick thing (i think its burnout. no sleep for the 3 chalet days compounded with the sun and lots of walking, standing around.) everythings really messy. hang on to the hope. i'll do my best to put it up on thursday maybe, once everything settles down.

FACE

I'm Screwed Now.

The Blue Screen of Death, otherwise known as the BSOD, or FACE, which is, for those who don't know, eFfing Annoying Computer Error. it basically means you're F*cked. So. with this, goes all my halo 3 pictures. so, there goes your review.. well, for now. Anyway, on the review thing. I don't know.. it seems more fun to just blog on what happens, but.. oh well. maybe i'll just mix it up a little more.

so anyway, today, i finally got the prom stuff. it cost me $0. a Blazer, Pants, Shirt. The whole ensemble, for free. yup. i went in, payed, by nets, went home. turns out the NETS didnt go through. so i payed nothing. but i couldnt get away with it. as soon as i got home and tried the altered pants for size, i got a call from Giordano Concept (great store. go check it out) telling me that the payment didnt make it. so tomorrow i have to go back there to get it done. which sucks. I mean, its not like Wisma Atria is 5 minutes away or anything. Its like a 1 hour bus ride there. well, there's the train, but the bus is always longer for emphasis. so pleah.

well. other than that, today went okay. well. i want to say it was sen-effin-sational, but i think that may be too extreme. while i got my prom stuff settled, there were still somethings i didnt get done. but pah. no point getting all emo about it. anyway. today, i tried jeans for the first time. but no. not those beginner "my-first-jeans" jeans, nono. i went straight for the hardcore stuff. Skinny Jeans. but not just ANY skinny jeans. oh no. these were "Topman's" Super Skinny™ cut jeans. they were freaking tight! how the hell does anyone wear them? are they insane?! seriously. well. at least now when i see someone where them, i know i shouldn't see them as 'bengs' but as true gods of endurance. i take my pants off to you. (compliment)

so yeah. stupid BSOD ruined the Halo 3 review, but i'll fix it tonight, and maybe later tonight i'll give you your review. so. come back for it.

p.s. i want to work at starbucks. whos with me?

No Goodbyes

I haven't had internet for what... 4 days?

well. first things first. im not dead, the blog is still up. I just got halo 3 over the weekend, that kept me away for two days. should have posted then, didnt know what was to come. My review for halo 3 will be posted not long from now. i think after the cremation tomorrow. check back. i need to upload the photos from my phone anyway.

sigh. I didnt think it'd be that sad, missing the amath dinner after the 'o's. probably mostly because i thought i really could go. oh well. my grandfather moved on to a better place on monday, at 3:30. not long before Long (the person) left my house actually. i was there at the hospital, i was never really too close to him, but when the doctor told us his heart stopped, let me tell you, its nothing like they say in novels or movies. there was no drama here. he just sank a little bit lower into the bed, and then he was gone. i didnt expect i would, but i found myself crying, i wish i could say it was for the loss of my grandfather, but no, my tears were for the losses my mother felt, those that my aunts felt. that that my grandmother felt. i'd never seen them cry so hard before. after some paperwork was done, he was sent to the void deck of his home in serangoon. the wake was already pretty much set up. i was supposedly supposed to stay late, but there was science, lit lit the next day, so we left first.

on the day of the final papers, i'd gotten over most of it already, told most people the news. then it dawned on me that the AMAT dinner was that night. i wanted to go so bad. but i was needed at the wake. i was his grandson after all. i followed us Amath people out the schools gate, but then i had to break off. i remember Huimin shouting: "Hey bezner! why you not going?!" i didnt turn back. i couldnt. i think i would have cried. ots not so much the not-going for the dinner. i think i was just saddened by the fact that the o's were over, and i couldn't go have fun. it was the idea that that could probably have been the happiest day of my life, and i was expected to go to a wake and be sad.

i thought it'd be boring at the wake. turns out it wasn't so bad. it was worse. there was music. the children, spouses, and grandchildren had to asssemble in front of the altar, while the monks made music. about 20 of them stood by the side, chanting and moaning and tok-tokking on their tok-tokkers. then once in awhile they'd start rapping. the tempo would speed up, and one monk would solo for a few pages of the song book, chanting the words faster than i've ever seen a monk rap (never). all this while, we would stand, bow, kneel, stand, sit, kneel, bow stand, sit, kneel, stand, kneel, stand, kneel, stand, kneel, hold the kneel, stand.... etc. the whole thing lasted an hour and a half. i decided. if i had a good life, i'd make sure this never happened at my funeral. if i had a bad life. i'd will that this happened two to five times.. ..a day, depending on how bad my life was.

anyway, the next day i went back there, we had to do it again. except it was a little different this time.i'd go into detail, but pah. i'm tired. its 1:07 am and i woke up at like 5 this morning. so. i apologise for this emo-ish post. but well. i just had to get it out. just to e-mail this to my dad, and i'm off to bed.